


even if cursing god my whole life, nothing will change.

by faucer



Series: heresy question AU [1]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Religious, Deviant CyberLife Tower Connor | RK800-60, Gen, Other, Religious Conflict, Religious Cults, Religious Guilt, Religious Imagery & Symbolism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 13:43:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16893714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faucer/pseuds/faucer
Summary: do what you want with this information but 60 is a renegade paladin who became a knight-errant the night he betrayed his religion by stealing the most precious artifact; the heart of the high priestess.RK900 worships and is deeply in love with the high priestess of 60′s ex cult.





	even if cursing god my whole life, nothing will change.

_**Mother**_ was the name he had to call them.  _ **Child**_  he was called by them.  _ **60**_  he was called by everyone.  
 ** _Prayers_**  he had to say every evening, every morning and before every meal, thanking  _ **Mother**_  for their offers.  
 ** _White_**  and  _ **blue**_  he had to wear, for they were colours of  _ **purity**_  and they suited  _ **Mother**_  so well, they would obviously suit everyone else too.  
 _ **Ignorance**_  he had to know, a  _ **bliss**_ , everyone said, as it could only mean to be free to let  _ **Mother**_  pour their unending knowledge into such  _ **empty**_  receptacles.   
 ** _Obedience_**  he had to learn,  _ **obedience**_  he did learn,  ** _obedience_**  he did follow.  
A  _ **good Child**_  he was. Until he understood  _ **desire**_.  
Until he  _ **grew up**_.

When the  _ **night**_  came, after his  _ **duties**_ , he found himself not being able to  _ **sleep**_.  
Not in one time since he was  _ **born**_  this happened. Was something  ** _troubling_**  him? That could not be, as  _ **Mother**_ provided him with anything he needed and more. Then? What kept him  _ **awake**_  for so long during the  _ **dark**_? He could not tell. And he was sure that nobody could. Nobody except  _ **Mother**_.  _ **Mother**_  knew everything.  _ **Mother**_  had the answers to all questions. So he  _ **got up**_  from the simple cot that was arranged for him.  
Though on the wooden head, delicately lit by a candlelight, there were carved different numbers. 51  ~~52~~   ~~53~~   ~~54~~   ~~55~~   ~~56~~   ~~57~~   ~~58~~  60.

He descended the  _ **stairs**_  and slowly got to the  _ **chamber**_. For  _ **Mother**_  needed the most undisturbed and deep sleep, they were allocated to a big room made of brown bricks.

“Come forth, my Child. I sense that you are in need.”

He winched, believing he could have not been so easily discovered. But then again, it was  _ **Mother**_ ,  _ **Mother**_  could always tell where everyone was and what everyone did. Because they had beautiful  _ **eyes**_.  
  
“I’m terribly sorry for waking you from your slumber, Mother.” he closed behind himself the door he was peeking from, advancing a few steps, still insecure if he was allowed to. He normally wouldn’t, having a hearing with  _ **Mother**_  was no ordinary occasion. A loud ethereal sigh filled the place like a wave and he shivered “Do not fret, Child. As my love for you and your Brothers is boundless.” every time  _ **Mother**_  spoke a faint glowing hue of blue light could be seen beaming from the high bed. Of course he did not see  _ **Mother**_  directly, nor did he ever try to, for it was such a sight he could not bear. Nobody had ever seen  _ **Mother**_ , for their  _ **body**_  was so holy, one would commit outrageous sin by just imagining it “I love you too, Mother.” he whispered, looking at the floor, almost feeling stupid for doubting  _ **Mother**_ unworldly powerful and strong  ** _emotions_** “It’s the third night in a row I’m not able to sleep, Mother. At first I thought it was my excitement to start the next day and bask in your presence, Mother, but…. Do you know why, Mother? Do you know why I feel this way?” a moment of silence in which he believed he was being inopportune “Do not hurry. One problem at a time, Child.” a faint blush crept his cheeks, _right, he should not rush_  “I cannot sleep, Mother.” his hands unravelling again and again, nervously “And why is that, my Child. If you wanted you could ask for a brew to help you but it seems it would not be helpful as your body is tired but your mind restless.” _yes, yes, undoubtedly **Mother**  understood_ “I— keep having  ** _thoughts_** , Mother. They do not let me sleep.  _Weird_ thoughts. They are trying to tell me something,  _I know._ ” a heavy pang in his chest “Am I sick, Mother? Am I sick? It surely must be the case, I am sick, Mother. I am. I  _dreamed—_ ” he immediately covered his mouth with his palms, he should have not said that, as for dreams were not allowed, as for everyone lost the ability to dream long ago “ _Dreamed_ , my Child? Nonsense!” their words, mellow honey, sea shanties coming from mermaids now dry auburn and amber leaves breaking under the crushing of a foot. Not that he was aware of any of these things – he never left the  _ **house**_ , nobody did, it was not allowed, as  _ **outside**_  was full of dangers. As  _ **Mother**_  was protecting them all “But I did, Mother, I did.” he insisted, he was sure that  _ **Mother**_ , in all of their benevolence, could forgive him this tiny mistake “And what did you dream, O Child?” _yes, yes, undoubtedly **Mother**  would understand this too_ “I dreamed about the grass, Mother. I do not know what the  _ **grass**_  is but I do know I dreamed of it. A voice told me it was  _ **green**_. I do not know what green is, Mother, but I do know it was what I dreamed about. I dreamed about the sky, Mother, it was so blue, so wonderful, like you, Mother. I dreamed about the clouds, Mother, the clouds are—” this time a loud flow hit him, shock him “Enough, insolent Child! You dare mislead your own Mother with these filthy lies?” he started shaking, his eyes anxiously roaming to and fro around the cell, was  ** _Mother_**  no happy? He had committed an error, yes, but he didn’t mean to, he didn’t want to “But Mother, these aren’t lies, I swear, Mother, I swear,  _please_ , believe me, Mother. I saw, Mother.  _I saw._ ” silence, again, longer this time, then a single glow “Very well, my Child. Come back tomorrow night and tell me what you saw, for I am weary and need rest. I’ll believe you tomorrow night.” and so he did.

He returned to his humble spot and thrashed around for the remaining hours, thinking about what  _ **Mother**_  said to him. For sure they were angry at him, he disobeyed and that was  _bad_ , but– but, they said they would  _believe him._  He had to keep faith in those words until morning.

 

“Yet again, my Child.” he nodded, his gaze low, fatigue burned in his irises “Yes, Mother. As you instructed.” he preferred to leave sleep for another day, as he didn’t want to dream, as he didn’t want to disappoint  ** _Mother_** “Tell me, Child, what are your dreams made of?” a steady note in their tone, no longer irated like before, he felt relieved “Are you not furious with me, Mother?” he should have replied to their question first, as it was rude to ask anything before doing that but he couldn’t bear a minute more with this doubt drilled in himself “Why, Child, you should remember how much a Mother’s compassion is stronger than any seething wish.” he softly sighed, as if a heavy metal weight had been lifted from his chest with the sole sound of their voice,  _they forgave him_  “Of course, I’m sorry Mother. I just thought– ” he was interrupted by an ulterior vivid blue “Hush, Child.  _Don’t think._  Rather, tell me about you, about what you  _saw_.” right, they are right,  _they’re always right_  “I saw…. I saw many things, Mother. I saw the world outside our home.” he stopped his whispering, almost guilty of admitting these foul deeds his brain was doing unbeknownst to his will “And do you yearn for it, Child?” he looked at them, his mouth agape, taken aback by such direct query, did he yearn for it? “No, Mother,  _no_. Do not worry, I won’t ever leave as I’m content here. I’m happy Mother, because I have you.” his first faint smile after days on end “And did you hear a voice, Child?” a voice? A voice in his sleep? Should he had to? Maybe there was one but he was so focused on discerning between remorse and curiosity he hadn’t noticed at all? “No, Mother, no. I didn’t.” a long pause.  
“Come tomorrow again, Child, and tell me more about what you saw.” he exited the room and went to crawl on his bed.  
He didn’t dream that night.

 

“Mother, Mother, I am well. Mother I healed. Mother  _you_ healed me.” he announced the third night in a row “I didn’t dream and I rested, Mother, you healed me.” he was so euphoric, so cheerful, for his  _ **Mother**_ helped him and now he was cured. And now he would stop being exhausted, stop moping while doing work, everything would certainly return to normal “Is that so, Child? Such great news you bring me, you should be awarded a prize. Come. Climb onto my bed. I shall lull you to sleep.” him? In the same bed as  _ **Mother**_? Oh how much he’d love that. But is he really allowed to? He never heard of such privilege being awarded. Oh but  _how much he’d love that._ Should he close his eyes in order not lay them on  _ **Mother**_? Should he indulge? Should he feel…. ‘Special’? He gulped down all of his worries and quietly counted each step “Mother…. Mother, I am unworthy of you, can I really look at you, Mother? Can I?” he murmured before reaching the lasts steps “I’m the one unworthy of you, Child, for I am diminishing and my form is fragile.” he bit his lower lip, thinking on how much  _ **Mother**_ was suffering and how much they were doing for him, even through the pain they always thought of him first “How are you feeling, Mother?” he asked, deciding to see, as he was sure such rare occasion would not return “Weak, my Child, weak.” a tenuous gleam and he could suddenly perceive  _ **Mother**_ in all of their glory. Indescribable “Is there anything I can do to help you, Mother?” blue and light, the only two words coming to his tongue, as he was still admiring them at the edge of the bed “Actually, Child, yes, there is something you could do for me.” his lids opening up in surprise, he? Doing something for  _ **Mother**_? “Tell me, please, tell me Mother, I beg you, what is it?” the response from them is delayed “I couldn’t, oh, I couldn’t Child, for this is such a dangerous thing…. How could I, your Mother, make such request? I should not have mentioned it to you, Child, forgive me.” something that could help  ** _Mother_**? Even if it was highly risky he would– “Mother, Mother, please trust me, Mother, I will be able to restore you, as you restored me.” he would do it for them “Then, Child, touch my  _ **heart**_.” and he did.

Immediately he felt…. limp. No, limp wasn’t the right term. He felt…. lifeless. As if his force, his soul, his mind, his memories, everything was being sucked in. Inside  _ **Mother**_. Was this hazardous? Was this…. He retreated his hand with a swift movement, scared by the sensations that were sharply spilling into him “Don’t be frightened, Child.” wispy coos coaxing him to repeat his action, but he didn’t, he couldn’t,  _he was terrified_ “Mother, I felt  _sick_ , Mother, if I do this I might–” again he was interrupted by  _ **Mother**_ ’s colour “Yes, my Child,  _yes_.” yes? But if he–  _ **Mother**_ would never hurt him, right?  _ **Mother**_ would never.  _ **Mother**_ ,  _ **Mother**_ –  _ **Mother**_ love him. Right? “Everyone has done this, Child.” everyone? He never heard of this, he never heard of anyone saying anything about a private audience with  _ **Mother**_ and about touching their heart, he never, never, never, never—

**they are going to eat you.**

What? He turned his head but by all means he was alone. Then where was this voice echoing from? Where– “ _Child_ , what are you waiting for?” he should not make  _ **Mother**_ wait, he should– he should dip his fingers there and– and unwillingly he lowered his arm again, touching the slimy blue that molded around him, bearing once more the vile sensation until…. Until he felt something more. Something solid. Pulsating. Squirming. Their heart. Their core.  _ **Mother**_ at their finest.  _ **Mother**_ source of life.  _His_ source of life. His? No. He had a heart of his own. He– was a person of his own. Wasn’t he?  _Wasn’t he?_

 

He watched out of breath as  _ **Mother**_ ’s life was still coruscating, unhurriedly. His hands dirty, stained with blood, starting to soil his white robe, tracing the outlines of his sin against his candid skin.  
After perhaps minutes or hours he came out of his epiphany, what had he done? What got to his brain?  
For the third night in a row he felt sick. He  _was_ sick. He wasn’t thinking straight. That was the only explanation for what he did. He must have definitely gone  _mad_. Mad from the pain, the horror, the rejection of his own  _ **Mother**_. He could not label it any other way. He could not justify himself for how he grabbed and snatched his own  _ **Mother**_ ’s heart. The  _ **High Priestess**_  heart. He could not justify his terrible behaviour. His senseless thought of living a foreign life. He had become a  _ **bad Child**_.

He had to flee.  
And so he did.

Escaping was the simplest thing, as there was only one door and it was not locked, for everyone was free to go. But, in fact, nobody ever did. Nobody except him that night. The loud creak of the wood almost tempted him to surrender himself to his  _ **destiny**_. Though that idea died as soon as he was out. A gust of wind making him covers his view. Infinity. Deep blue. The void. Black. Everything. He was overwhelmed. His conscious nearly spinning. He was not prepared for what he  _saw_. The stars.

_**Mother**_  was the name he had to call them.  _ **Child**_  he was called by them.  ** _60_**  he was called by everyone.  _ **Brother**_  he was called by the other two.


End file.
